Aftermath of the Scratch
by thecrooktomyassassin
Summary: After the death of S.S.A Stephen Walker, Spencer and JJ deal with what comes next. (CANON DIVERGENCE)


Jennifer felt the air that was slowly entering her body as she looked around the hospital she was being guided towards. The light was too blinding and the right side of her face hurt and bled from the shards of glass that were still stuck there. She tried to lift her head and look around; desperately searching for that one person she _needed_ to see.

And then Spencer was running towards her, rushing to her side and holding her bloody hand in his trembling one.

"Spence." She breathed out and her voice sounded more like a strangled cry than anything else. But Spencer was there, next to her and holding her hand. Her thoughts drifted to Stephen suddenly and she let out a cry. "Stephen."

Spencer's eyes were watery too as his free hand rubbed his left, then right eye. "I know. I know."

The stretcher JJ was carried with stopped on an open room and a doctor accompanied with a nurse were quick to rush inside, followed by Luke. The doctor instructed to Spencer to let go of her hand so they could examine her properly. The blonde nodded immediately and giving Spence's hand a weak squeeze, she let go. Spencer took a step back and looked at Luke who stood in the doorway silent.

"Still no news about Emily, but Rossi is denying all treatment until he talks to us."

Behind them, the doctor was treating the wound on JJ's temple. Spencer locked eyes with her and she smiled as much as she could, telling him in her own way to go.

"I need to call the nanny, Henry and Livie… I need to-." Luke put his hands on Spencer's shoulders. Spencer was frantic, his mind drifting from the two children that were still probably asleep at home, to his team and especially Emily, who was still nowhere to be found.

"Garcia already called. Henry is fast asleep but Olivia woke up and was asking for you and JJ." Said Luke and Spencer's felt his vision blur again, thinking about his crying daughter asking for her parents. "The nanny has it under control, Reid. Come on. The sooner we find Emily and take down Scratch, the sooner you'll get home to your family." Spencer nodded and followed him to the bed where Rossi was lying with a pained but smug look on his face.

This was going to be a _long_ night.

"Spence." Jennifer said and stood up from the chair she was sitting next to Rossi, who was still asleep. She jolted up from her chair and fell on her husband's arms, tearing up as he held her close to him.

"It's okay, it's okay." He tried to comfort her as well as he could, trying to remain calm himself. "I'm here." JJ pulled away, wiping her eyes.

"How are the kids?" She asked him, biting her lip.

"Garcia called the nanny and only Livie was awake and asking for us." Spencer explained and immediately JJ's eyes started to fill up again. To think that she could have been the one to…

"Spence, I was supposed to sit on the back. I was supposed to be sitting there and he came first and…" Her words faded but Spencer knew exactly what JJ was trying to tell him. It could have been her. And Livie, calling out for her mom and dad, would have only one parent come home and so would Henry. "Is it time to call it?"

Spencer remembered the deal they had made. If things ever got too bad, one of them could just call it quits and it would be just the four of them. No BAU, no Mr. Scratch, no unsubs. Just family and happiness and love and…

"When we find Emily? A little after that? I just, I don't want to…" Spencer pulled his wife close, kissing the top of her head.

"JJ, as much as I would love to be a full-time dad and to wake up every day with our kids and fall asleep with them too… This… This is our life." His long fingers wrapped around her left hand, bringing it up to his chest. "Do you see these wedding rings? It has been five years since we first put them on and I have loved you for thirteen. And in days like this, days that seem impossibly hard… these are the days that I love you the most, Jennifer. And that's why I'll stand by you, no matter what you choose to do."

A bright smile crossed JJ's face.

"Oh, thank god."

Spencer loved seeing her smile. Any smile. Sad smile, happy smile, grateful smile. Somehow JJ always managed to put something special in her smiles; something that made the man think about how he has to write an entire book to try and study how one person can make him feel so many things by just smiling…

The blonde pulled him in for a kiss, shushing him and making him forget about the mayhem that was currently happening for just a moment. Their short, but sweet liplock was interrupted by Dave, who was just opening his eyes.

"Get a room you too. Even after so long, this is still gross."

JJ stood next to Spencer as Emily spoke, standing in front of Stephen's casket.

She saw his wife, his two children.

 _It could have been me in that casket. It could have been Spencer with Henry and Livie in those chairs._

Spencer sensed that something was wrong and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. She rested her head on the crook of his neck and let the tears fall silently.

She knew Spencer was hurting too. She noticed him getting dizzy and when they got home those early hours of the morning, he just sat on the sofa, staring at the wall until Livie and Henry woke up. She wanted to ask, she wanted to know desperately what was wrong and what she could do to help but frankly… she did know. Spencer didn't trust himself anymore. He had seen her face when he grabbed Cat Adams by the throat after flipping a table and demanded her not to talk about their children. JJ knew that in that moment, Spencer could have killed her. He could have strangled her and now he must have felt that emotion come back along with Mr. Scratch.

She pushed those thoughts aside and held Spencer's hand in hers tighter and looked ahead on the endless-looking rows of gravestones.

Afterwards, she gave Monica a warm hug and followed Spencer to the car as they drove back to the BAU. It was Saturday and thankfully, knowing the situation, JJ's mother volunteered to spend the day with the two children as Spencer and JJ dealt with the aftermath of Scratch's death.

"Do you think we'll ever be okay, Spence?" She asked as they stopped on a red light and Spencer turned to look at her from the passenger's side. "Will we get past this? I keep replaying everything in my head every single moment I'm awake and I still don't know. Maybe your 187 IQ can help me out in this one."

"I chose to have faith. I have faith in you, JJ. And I have faith in the family we've built together and all the people that care about us. I have faith in our love for each other and our children. I don't know how soon my PTS will go away or you'll stop thinking about the car crash and everything but… I want to try. I want us to get better and I know we can. We have been through much worse and I think that we can get past this. Together."

JJ smiled and held his hand as the light turned green.

"Together."


End file.
